I think this is where I belong—among all your other lost things. A crumpled note at the bottom of a drawer or an old photograph pressed between the pages of a book. I hope someday you will find me and remember what I once meant to you.
Society often sets standards and most of the time these standards discriminate and exclude people who don’t conform with it. We all, men and women alike, are free to express ourselves and our ideas as long as we don’t cause unnecessary injury to other people. I found these images from a website and thought that these are really liberating.
These are created by Carol Rosetti, a 26-year-old graphic designer from Belo Horizonte, Brazil.
To be honest, I’ve been meaning to write about something like this for a while. I get a lot of messages from people who are being hindered from doing things they want to try because they are unhappy with the way they look, and their self-confidence suffers.
I’ve been there before, and I know how that feeling sucks. While your inner self is of course ultimately more important, I can understand how we can still be heavily affected by our outer appearance. After all, that is the image we present to others on our day-to-day interactions. In a lot of cases, people cannot help perceiving another individual visually first, before getting to know the person inside.
Although I carry myself with more confidence now, it doesn’t mean I regard myself as perfect. I honestly think I have quirky features and that I look kind of odd, but I’m really very okay with that!
As a kid, I was called some names and mildly bullied for the way I look. Because of that, there was a time when I wished I could get plastic surgery to change my features into what would be considered conventionally beautiful, so that people wouldn’t hurt me. It was a kid’s reasoning, and of course I couldn’t actually do it.
One night many years after that, I was looking at photos of an artist I look up to and admiring their features. Soulful eyes, bright, even if the skin around them was a bit darkened, perhaps from lack of sleep. Messy but expressive eyebrows. An upturned nose that looks a bit pinched but in what I think is an endearing way. A crooked smile with somewhat misaligned teeth that were smaller than they should proportionally be. The funny way they seemed to talk from just one side of their mouth. These features don’t sound ideal, but I honestly felt that this person was, and still is one of the most visually beautiful people I have laid eyes on. And I felt that if they got plastic surgery to change anything about how they looked, I would be extremely sad because I truly feel they are perfect (or perfectly imperfect) just the way they are.
And in that moment I realized: If I can feel this way about this person who is so far from the idealized standard of beauty, then maybe it is possible that someone could look at me and feel similarly. Moreover, it dawned on me that what I loved about that person’s features was amplified by the way their hard work and passion and kindness had inspired me and so many others in countless ways. That’s when I thought — Wow. That’s how I hope to be admired.
I don’t want an empty worship based on by chance being born with features that fall into someone’s definition of external beauty. There is no single universal ideal of beauty anyway, so if you just want every single person to find you good-looking then there’s no way to win that game.
So yes, there are times I feel insecure about some things, but I don’t let myself get seriously upset about them, nor do I wish I had a different face or body. I am not perfect, but I can be grateful for the people who can appreciate the features I was born with. Even better are the ones who go past my exterior and can acknowledge me for the things I do, and for who I am as a person.
My knees are burning hot but God is cold..
They say time flies but you keep breaking its wings…
To the slaughterhouse I’m taking my pain..